Reading material which you have written a considerable time ago can be an awfully painful experience. As I went through some of my older posts, many of which have been deleted or drafted in sake of embarrassment, I realized how much I have changed. The way I think, act, and behave has many ideals of an adult as I now see. At the time of when I wrote those other (embarrassing) posts, I can see how you never, ever really know as much as you think you do. Youthful ignorance…oh well.
Well anyways, so who the f is this new 21 year old hot shot Jared Steele? Ha, I wish. The person I am is quite literally nothing like who I was a year ago. Life is not black and white, good and bad, rich and poor. Everything is a muted blend of some sort of greyscale and it just depends really on where you fall on that spectrum. The many things I once swore were evil, such as alcohol, are quite literally one of the finer enjoyments in my life. Have you ever been two-stepping with strangers while having a considerable amount of White Zifinadel in your body?! It’s great!
Nonetheless, the reason I am writing today specifically is because I thought of how much I adore good sushi. I thought about it so much that I needed to write about how much I like it, which led to me thinking it would be a good blog post, which led me here…after two years. So now I’m like a piece of aged sushi. Not entirely bad yet, just preserving what’s left of its flavor before succumbing to the rancid smell that fish so quickly takes on.
So now where is my life & what am I doing? I can start by saying I’m a hardened lil mo’fo as I feel emotionally caullosed. The breakup with Hannah was something that was a kick to the nuts in emotional speak. It crippled me and I see people and things like they’re these little soulless creatures that just want to take advantage of you to push their own agenda. It’s deplorable. We’re all deplorable little shits really. Religion has no utility and am beginning to see why there is immense hostility towards religion from those who aren’t. Science and logic is slowly becoming the Truth in my life and quite honestly, I feel good about it. I feel good about knowing there is a reason for everything that can be explained. I would drive myself insane with the incessant guessing and anxious awaiting of good things to happen. No. No, no, no. I’ve made myself accountable and directly responsible for my actions and more importantly, results, and things are really getting better.
Here’s what I mean;
-Intern at Global Fortune 500 company, NEC. I was selected as one of only 6 interns within the US.
-Started my own business, CrackedApple.co and it’s not doing too shabby. It’s scaling decently and am able to take pride in it.
-Was awarded $13,600 in scholarships, and there’s likely more to come.
-My relationship with my brother has healed and improved drastically. The same can be said for my entire family really.
-I feel as if I have direction in my life and the confidence to move forward is liberating. I’m happy.
I know I still have so much to learn and understand, but these past few months has been pivotal in the direction of my life. Things are getting traction and forward progression is happening.
Interestingly enough, despite all of this, I find myself more aware of others, and their needs more often now than ever. I see how wrong poverty is, how disabling poor education can be, and just the things that cripple the possibility of the standard of living to improve in the world we live in.
To takeaway, I have a few ideas that I am pondering and need to think through. First, I am thinking about taking a year, or semester, off and spend part of that time to move to California, live with Trace, and possibly sit in on a few classes at Stanford. While doing that, I hope to grow CrackedApple.co and scale it up to have more AppleTechs (repair people). Maybe I can even retake some classes, possibly apply for the Terry scholarship, go sailing for a month or two, and do a really meaningful service-type kind of work that would genuinely benefit those who are likely to need it the most.
Ideas are so beautiful as long as they are utilized,
The Norwegian Freeman 